I think I am delusional about my life.

Do you ever feel that way? Like you think you know the person you were, well at least who THOUGHT you were. Maybe it is just a dream of some better person you wished you had been? Maybe I'm still the person I don't want to be. I don't know. I hope I'm at least trying to be better. I think that maybe growing up I was the kind of person that I now try SO had to help others not feel stung by. I guess that growing up and moving out and moving on makes you realize that the world is a WHOLE lot bigger than you and your little problems. I guess this is my "please forgive" me blog. I am sorry if I in some way was ever not nice or if I seemed judgemental to you. Maybe I'm just pregnant and hormonal. But thinking about growing up in a group of great people who I didn't appreciate. The girl I was closest to then I haven't talked to or seen in years, well besides facebook. I hope that in my adult life I can see the people who really love me and who really matter and make sure those are the ones I appreciate and spend time with. What is all boils down to is being comfortable with who you are and with who others are around you. I have really only known two maybe four people (I'd name them, but only one reads this blog... :) I think you know who you are) who are truely comfortable with themselves and seem to genuinely love people for who they are. I hope someday I can be like them! And it's not to say these people are perfect, but I know they don't EVER make people feel bad about themselves.... Sorry about this random blog. I'm just feeling crazy today. I've been sick all week and then woke up with a massive cold sore that is taking over my face.... :) So Here's to trying to get over myself and over my insecurities so that I can be a better person.

Stuff n' nonsense

Things around here have changed a LOT since the last time I blogged! I'm sure you can imagine, since it's been like 4 months... :) So I suck at blogging, what else is new you ask? Well about 2 months ago I had a job interview and was offered a full time job! I have been working for about 3 weeks. So far it's pretty good, I really miss spending so much time with Zachary, even though he is naughty! But what do I expect from a 2 year old? Not much. He seems to like 'pre-schoool' just not for the first 5 minutes after I drop him off. But when he is picked up he is happy as a clam. He reall has a hard time listening and obeying though! I hope it is just a stage, anyone who has gone through this, please advise! :) Today he dupmed a bag (snack size) of doritos on the floor and when I aske him to clean it up he said "no". So I asked him two more times and on the last time I said if you tell me no one more time and don't clean it up you will have to go to bed. He said no and ended up in bed. Sometimes it is really hard not to strangle him.... But he is too cute most of the time. And I guess I love him. I think right now everything just seems harder because I am 6 months pregnant. I have a lot less patience and most of the time I am thinking "what was I thinking? I can't even handle one child!"
We found out about a month ago that this little one will be a girl. The ultra-sound tech said not to paint the room, but that she would bet girl. My mom doesn't think it will be a girl. I guess she is just used to grandsons! We will find out for sure soon. If I don't get another ultra sound at the Dr we will have a 3-d one and find out. I personally think it is a girl, I have felt a lot different this time and have been sick for a longer time than I was with my little Zac. This baby sure moves alot when no one else is around to feel it, just in the last day or so I can feel Her/him on the the outside too. He/she is VERY low just like Zac was (this is the only thing that makes me think it may be a boy), so I pretty much would only let greg feel the baby kick.... it's a little personal... :) LOL. In my last ultra sound at the Dr. they said the baby looks long and they asked how tall Greg and I are! I hope this one is not longer than Zac was. Zac was 7.8 lbs and almost 22 inches. Long and skinny. On his last ultra sound I felt so bad, cause his knees were touching his forehead. He was so cramped in there. I guess maybe all babies are like that.... We also have a name picked out for a girl, Sophia Ashleigh Taylor Fullerton. All of the names are after someone we love/loved. Sophia is for my uncle Stephen (this was the closest I could come up with that was feminine), Ashleigh is for Greg's cousin Ashlee who passed away about 4 years ago and Taylor is after my dad and grandma. Greg is not sold on Sophia, but I am :) He has to come up with a good reason not to like it. Other than I just don't like it... LOL.
Sorry if this is a boring blog, just had a little up-date. Hope everyone is doing great! Love, me

The cat's out of the bag....

Why would you have a cat in a bag? I don't get that saying :) Anyhoo.... Greg and I are going to welcome another baby into the family. We are excited, for the most part and would be even more if I wasn't so sick. Being pregnant makes me feel like a horrible mother, I am tired and sick all the time and Zachary is in the terrible 2's for SURE! If I even sit down on the couch he freaks out. It is so sad, and make me feel awful, but I just can't...... I feel sick 24/7. I really envy the women who have pregnancies where they just feel "great" the whole time, I wish that was me SO bad. We are just out of the first trimester so MAYBE I will feel better soon (I didn't w/ Zac, but every one is different, right?) I'd post a picture, but I just look the same, chubby LOL!