3 years ago today

This morning as Greg was getting ready to leave I said to Zachary (jokingly, I'll add), who was being naughty as usual.. "It was 3 years ago today you first ruined our lives!" LOL. I'll take you back.....
The weekend had been a long one and I was feeling a LOT more tired than usual. I had gone to bed at like 8 pm that Saturday, or maybe it was Friday.... Anyway. Greg went to our friends house to hang out with them while I slept the night away. While there he said "I think she caught a bug or something" Making an excuse for how lame I am.. :D... Little did he know what KIND of bug it was. the next week I had an idea. I was tired and just feeling generally crappy, with no real symptoms. Then it came the day I was supposed to get IT (you know what I mean ;)). I went to the drug store and got a pregnancy test came home and took all 3 tests! I couldn't believe the results! We were not really planning on this right at that moment, but I guess life has other plans. So Greg was at work and I was at home, waiting. I didn't want to tell him over the phone, I wanted to tell him in person. So what did I do? I went to the store, since it was valentines day I was determined to find a creative way to tell him. at the store I bought him some of his favorite candy, all chocolate and peanut butter. The book what to expect when you are expecting, prenatal vitamins and I got an empty watch/bracelet box. (Yeah I know most of the gift was for me, LOL) I put them in a cute little v-day bag and the put the pregnancy tests in the the watch box, all 3 of them.... now it was at least noon. I still had like 4 hours till he got home. I called to see if he could come home early and he couldn't..... WAITING WAS REALLY HARD. I can't remember what else I did.... Finally it was 5:30 and he was home. I was like "DO YOU WANT YOUR V-DAY PRESENT!!??" (yeah probably that loud and excited.) So he took out the book and was like why do I want this book? Then the vitamins and he was like "if you are pregnant you better just tell me" KEEP OPENING! then he thought he was getting a nice watch and went for that box... nope! He was like, "what the! Why'd you take all 3 tests?" I said "cause I couldn't believe it." That is how all this madness started. So happy valentines days to all the lovers out there and all the ones they love! We love you baby Zachary and are so happy you are part of our lives, naughty or not :) And baby girl, we are patiently (or not) waiting your arrival and can't wait for you to join your big brother in all his naughty adventures!

LOA

So at my Dr. apt yesterday they said they don't want me to work anymore. Which is good and bad. I don't want to work cause sitting for 8 hours a day is painful at this point, but I'm really scared it is going to make these next 3 weeks DDDRRRAAAGGG out to seem like the last 37. I really wish I enjoyed being pregnant, I know people who do, I want to be one of them! Any way so my blogs aren't all depressing....
My friends from church threw me a baby shower last week and it was so sweet! I got so many cute things for a baby girl, I actually almost cried when I opened the first present and it was a frilly little pink dress... I know, dumb. I have never really wanted a girl, we are emotional and I always say I already lived through 5-8th grade and I don't want to have to do it again. But the idea of a little girl is really growing on me (good thing right?) I think Zac is going to be a great big brother and Greg already is a great dad so I'm sure he will be with a girl too. The crib is up and all her clothes are in drawers (except the new ones from the shower, they need to be washed...). I forget when you are supposed to pack your bag for the hospital, but I think that is the last thing we need to do. oh and get out the baby car seat. Everyone keeps asking bout if we have a name yet. We are doing the same thing we did with Zac, taking some with us to the hospital and then choosing there. Here is what we have so far. (Just so you know I'm not really asking for opinions, just letting you know what we are choosing from.):
Sophia Ashley Taylor
Delilah Ashley Taylor
Juliette Ashley Taylor
Stevie Ashley Taylor
Not sure we are leaning to one more than any other, but those are the ones we are choosing from. For those of you who know when we had Zac if he had been a girl he would have been Delilah for sure, with no others to choose from, we both really like that name. Then after we found out he was a boy my sister got two dog and named them Sampson and Delilah. So now she thinks if we name her Delilah we are naming her after a dog, but it was my name first and she named her dog after my future baby girl..... IF we name her that. Also Stevie is NOT after Stevie Nicks. It is after my uncle Steve. Sophia is my choice and Juliette is Greg's. I am hell bent on my kids having names that have cute nick names. None of us in my family did except Mya (for Mariah) and that was only cause I could say Mariah..... I HATE Kris and so I want my kids to have cute short versions of their names, so Sophia would be Sophie, Delilah would be Lilah, Juliette Julie (of course) and Stevie would be Evie. I like them all the same I think..... Anyhoo that's all for today. peace out and wish me luck :)

I think I am delusional about my life.

Do you ever feel that way? Like you think you know the person you were, well at least who THOUGHT you were. Maybe it is just a dream of some better person you wished you had been? Maybe I'm still the person I don't want to be. I don't know. I hope I'm at least trying to be better. I think that maybe growing up I was the kind of person that I now try SO had to help others not feel stung by. I guess that growing up and moving out and moving on makes you realize that the world is a WHOLE lot bigger than you and your little problems. I guess this is my "please forgive" me blog. I am sorry if I in some way was ever not nice or if I seemed judgemental to you. Maybe I'm just pregnant and hormonal. But thinking about growing up in a group of great people who I didn't appreciate. The girl I was closest to then I haven't talked to or seen in years, well besides facebook. I hope that in my adult life I can see the people who really love me and who really matter and make sure those are the ones I appreciate and spend time with. What is all boils down to is being comfortable with who you are and with who others are around you. I have really only known two maybe four people (I'd name them, but only one reads this blog... :) I think you know who you are) who are truely comfortable with themselves and seem to genuinely love people for who they are. I hope someday I can be like them! And it's not to say these people are perfect, but I know they don't EVER make people feel bad about themselves.... Sorry about this random blog. I'm just feeling crazy today. I've been sick all week and then woke up with a massive cold sore that is taking over my face.... :) So Here's to trying to get over myself and over my insecurities so that I can be a better person.